Reasons for 'Hating' Josh by Neku Sakuraba
by WaterAngel-Alyssa
Summary: Neku's reasons for hating and enjoying Joshua's company. Friendship Neku/Joshua, slight implied Neku/Shiki & Joshua/Rhyme. T for Neku's potty mouth!


**My reasons for hating Joshua**

by Neku Sakuraba

Hey, this is Neku Sakuraba. Sorry this isn't a story or whatever, but Joshua seriously pissed me off today by ruining my headphones, and I need to rant. -_-+

1. Every time I invite him over to my house, I wake up with him in my bed, smirking, pointing a gun at my head. WHAT THE HELL, JOSH! It scared the CRAP out of me! damn, it's creepy! I wake up after a plesent dream, to see a gray fluffy-headed, feminine prissy, holding a _gun!_ I don't care if it _was_ fake, josh! That's not how I want to start off my day -_-

2. Another thing that happened when he came over. When I _politely asked him_ to help me with the dishes _thirty-seven times_ he just laid on his lazy ass, and waved me off. UGH. Then after PROMISING that I'd buy him a pink bunny parka (don't even ask, I have no idea), he helped me. Sort of. -_- Not really. _I _actually _want_ to get it done. He spends _forever_ working on _one_ dish, saying it has to be 'perfect and fit for a composer'. And because I want to leave, I wind up washing all the other dishes, while he's still on that one dish. And even then, it's still not clean! (the lazy ass)

3. Again, when I invite him over and he takes a shower, he uses all of the hot water, and all of my moms vanilla suave shampoo. The ENTIRE bottle! When it's brand new! (And I'm pretty sure he's been stealing my hair gel -_-+) Then I'm the one who has to buy my mom more. (In total of how much Josh has done this, he's probably made me pay about 1700 yen -_-) And he _sings_ in the shower _at the top of his lungs_! And he sings such...well..._gay_ songs! I had 'My milkshake' stuck in my head all day! And trust me, that didn't go over well when I started humming it on my date with Shiki...

4. The prissy _cannot whistle_. I don't know why he can't, he just can't. So when he tries to wolf whistle when he makes some perverted joke, it's...it's just sad. It sounds like an owl. "Hoo hoo~" or something like that. I almost feel sorry for him. (almost) He TRIES to pass humming through his teeth as whistling, but it just makes a blowing/humming sound, and it's not whistling at all. And it's so ANNOYING, because he does it all the time, to try and prove that he can. You can't, Josh. You just can't. Face it and get over it.

5. He uploads classical music onto my i-pod all. the. time. You know how awful it is when I set it on shuffle, and Josh's Beethoven music starts playing? It starts putting me to sleep, and I have it stuck in my head _all day long_. Before I know it, I start humming that stupid classical junk in class. I got _detention_ for singing _Beethoven_. Damn you Josh...

6. He keeps flirting with Rhyme. I don't know, maybe it's because he's trying to ruin her innocence or something, but I always get a speech from Beat for bringing Joshua along. It is kind of ammusing though, because Beat did beat Joshua up one time (the weak ass got a black eye) when he actually kissed Rhyme...Mainly it was ammusing, because I was shocked (and relieved) that Joshua was actually straight. _WHY_ rhyme actually _LIKES_ that boy, I'll never know!

7. The way he says everyone's name is just...weird. He has this..._suggestive_ tone in his voice and a smirk whenever he says someones name. _Especially_ me! "Ne~ku-kun..." Afterwards, I punch him in the gut and he shuts up for a little while, until his pain goes away and he starts using the suggestive tone again. Is he _trying_ to sound like a pedophile! (it's working, dammit...Beat still won't let Joshua near Rhyme)

8. He dances like a drunk female hooker. I'm not going to say anymore then that.

9. He makes THE weirdest noises when he eats his favorite foods. "Mmm~ I'm in paradise~" It disturbs me, and I wind up not being able to eat my food. ever wonder why I'm so skinny? Yeah. Blame it on Josh. And I'm not the only one who thinks those noises are disturbing! A mom that was sitting next to us one time had to pick up her 5 year old daughter and run off, saying something about getting her away from 'pedophiles'. Don't count me in with him! I don't make pedophilish noises when I eat! Another thing. Josh _giggles_ like a girl! And the fact that he's always on his cell phone doesn't make him that look much more manly.

10. He always ruins my dates with Shiki. He always 'by coincidence' shows up at the same place Shiki and I are at, smirks, and decides to stay with us, usually embarrassing me in front of Shiki. Half way in the date, I can't help but think "Someone please shoot me now "

WHY do I even hang out with this prissy! *sigh* Whatever. I'm feeling better now that I got all of that out of my system, so I might as well try and figure out reasons why I actually hang out with Joshua.

1. I can talk to him about The Reaper's Game, something I can only do with a few people. (That, and I need to bonk him on the head every once and a while to get back at him for shooting me to get me in the game in the first place) I get curious about The Game every once and a while, so he keeps me updated on what's going on. There's some things he can't tell me, but I understand that. And a couple times, he'll need my help with something in The Game, and I get to have a few adventures kicking some Noise ass with him. And that's pretty fun.

2. Some of the reapers are teachers, so he can make them give me, Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme A's in their classes (Though Rhyme doesn't need him to get A's, she gets those on her own). It's a good thing that he gets them to give Beat As, because he would have failed the ninth grade if it wasn't for those A's, I bet.

3. When he's not being a prissy ass that makes homosexual jokes, he can actually be pretty funny. We have a lot of inside jokes that no one but us know about. I'd tell you, but then they wouldn't be inside jokes, now would they?

4. He's very different from everyone else. Like me, a bit. He doesn't really give a damn about what everyone else thinks of him, and does what he wants without thinking of embarrassment. Seriously, the guy is impossible to embarrass! I somewhat admire that, and it is ammusing trying to embarrass him.

5. I can relate to him some...He shuts everyone out from his world and let's few in, like me. I'm one of the few that he's let into his world, and even then, I still don't know everything about him. But, it's the same way around for him too. I've let few enter my world, and he's one of the few I've let in. He still doesn't know that much about me, but the thing is, he doesn't mind. He doesn't try and force his values on me like everyone else has before...He's definately different.

Heh...I guess I came up with a few reasons. I'm going to go apologize for giving him a bloody nose. See you guys later!


End file.
